What if today was all there was?

Rob Engelstein
2 min readDec 19, 2020

Just another Saturday with my family.

I have recently switched to a slower, less career-oriented life. My focus today is on reading and writing. It seems to be working well, I must say.

Why did I choose to focus on reading and writing? I am an INTP. My basic drive is to theorize. I spend my days contemplating. I know there is no meaning in life, but there is contemplating, a wonderful past time for the INTP, so why not indulge in it a few more hours in the day?

My youngest kid is 4 years old, meaning they can basically take care of themselves. Right now I don’t want to mold them. I want them to find out for themselves what they want to do.

Instead, I want to continue to mold myself. I’m 39 years old. Just this year I discovered so much. Every day is life.

In fact, today. I was thinking what if today was all there is. As a thought experiment. The truth is not bad. I read a lot. I was in the present, playing with my kids. I have not a lot more aspirations.

I read some of Monsieur Teste (hard to find this book on Kindle), and some of Please Understand Me. I also wrote some. I wrote the phrase ‘From the nothing comes something. Wait for it’. For me, this line means to wait, simply wait until a revelation arrives. I do need some time for reflecting and some time for reading, since writing takes care of itself.

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